Hysterosalpingogram (HSG)

Hello Friends,

Sorry that I didn't check in yesterday. I was away for work over the weekend and my travels home took much longer than planned and I was wiped!

This morning had me experiencing my first bought of hormones on this round of clomid. I wouldn't solely blame it on the hormones, but they did play a big part. I had my hysterosalpingogram (HSG) done today and I was a bit nervous about it. Not sure what the HSG test does? Well check it out here.

The test wasn't completely horrible but it also wasn't all sunshine and bubblegum either.

From what I could see, the dye flowed through my fallopian tubes just fine but you never know what the final results will say. I should hear from my doctor in 2-3 days so here's hoping we get some answers.

It's funny, I texted my family to let them know the test was over and that I could see things flowing through just fine. They were excited to hear that and figured it was a positive result. I don't necessarily see it that way. I explained that if I had had some sort of blockage, it would explain why we haven't been successful. Now it depends on what the results of the test are, but we *could* be back at square one.

The plan right now is to look in to accupuncture as my OBGYN recommended as well as find a therapist for me and have my husband look into a male infertility specialist. Most of that is going to have to wait a bit though as I am back on the road for work the next few days and need to focus on my responsibilities there.

I will do my best to finish our journey's story tomorrow. Tonight I must finish so I can get to bed. I am noticing I am much more exhausted these days and I wonder if it is a side effect of the clomid. That is not a confirmed side effect. It could also be the emotional aspect that exhausts me. Either way, I need to get to bed sooner rather than later.

Good night ~ Ms Infertile

The clomid chronicles

This morning was day 5 of my cycle. That means that it is day 1 of my second round of clomid. Thinking about taking clomid again was really what got me thinking about starting this blog. Taking that medicine threw my body completely off track physically and emotionally and I became aware of it just in time to start the next round....yay! *sarcasm* So I figured I would journal about it for round 2.

I am a pretty up-beat, strong, and determined individual but this stuff had me crying like a baby at the drop of a hat. My confidence was gone. And I almost quit my job about 6 times. I hated it.

So why am I going through it all over again?

Because I want to have a child. If this is what it is going to take to get there, then I am all for it.

Of course my husband and I have discussed how far we are willing to go to become parents to a biological child. We have our limits set...they may be ever-evolving...but we have them.

Let me back up some more and give you a bit more of our story. Yesterday I told you when we started trying and the events that led up to it. I had mixed emotions about the process. See, I come from a huge family. My mom is 1 of 8, my dad is 1 of 6, and I am the oldest of 4 successful pregnancies (unfortunately my parents had to cope with 2 unsuccessful pregnancies). We did the math recently that my grandmother on my dad's side had 19 grandchildren and 26....yes you read that correctly....26 great-grandchildren! Reproducing is in our genes! But I have always had a little voice in the back of my head saying, "my luck will have me unable to conceive." Ugh, self-fulfilling prophesy?! So when it didn't happen right away, I struggled. My husband just told me that we didn't have relations enough and that was it. I did my best but still nothing.

Like I have mentioned before, my husband is a researcher. He does it for a career and for the fun of it. So of course he started researching stats on conception, reproduction, and anything else remotely related. He discovered that on average it can take about a year to conceive so he wasn't all that worried. I had started using an app called "My Days" to help me keep track of my period and when we were having relations but it wasn't until about 7 months of being unsuccessful that I convinced my husband that we needed to step up our game. I wanted to try using ovulation sticks to make sure I was ovulating when the app said I should be. I'm glad we did because my cycle has not been totally reliable since going off the pill and it turns that that I usually ovulate about 2 days after the app says I am scheduled to ovulate.

A bit of advice, if you have been trying for any period of time with no success, I suggest you try ovulation sticks to make sure you know if you are ovulating and if you are ovulating...then also when it happens in your cycle. We use the Clear Blue tests and have found that they are pretty good. We have used the basic ones as well as the more advanced and are happy with both sets of results.

I have a tendency to be long winded so I'm going to end my story for now. But I will be back tomorrow with more of our journey and updates on how the clomid is treating my system this time around. ~ Ms Infertile

A little bit of history

So now that we are nicely settled in to this little space, let's get to know each other a little bit more.

I am a 33 (almost 34...gasp!) year old woman with an amazingly awesome 38 year old husband. We live in Metro Atlanta and have the best dog any one could ask for! I work in the social services field and my husband just became an assistant professor at a local university (so proud of him and his hard work).

I'm going to be honest, before I met my husband I was not planning to give birth to any children. I was convinced I was going to be a mom to a million and one children...but they were all going to be fostered and adopted. I worked in that field and had the mind-frame that there are already so many young people out there that don't have stable living situations, why not help them before producing any of my own.

When my now husband and I started having serious "futures planning" conversations, I told him that if he is not okay with fostering/adopting - we needed to see if this was the right relationship for us. Luckily he was on board

...with one stipulation...

he wanted to have at least one biological child. I agreed and we moved forward with our committment. PHEW!

As newlyweds, we had to dodge "the kids question" all the time! It got to the point where we made the joke that each time someone asked us when we were going to start a family - they restarted the clock for 5 more years. When people continued to ask, we were upfront with them and said, "No time soon, thanks for asking and we ask that you respect our decisions and stop asking." We explained that we wanted to wait until my husband was finished with his degree and the fact that we were probably going to have to relocate when said degree was finished. Eventually people got the picture and respected our space.

We decided that we would start "trying" to have a family as soon as we relocated. We had waited long enough and I was getting anxious. Before we moved I made sure to have one last appointment with my long time gynecologist for advice on what we should think about as we began the process. First off, she was super upset that she was not going to have the privilege of delivering our baby but she got passed it and helped us figure out what vitamins I should start taking. She also thought I could benefit from a high dosage of folic acid. See, my mom had complications with almost all of her pregnancies (6) so my doc thought we should be on the safe side and get a good amount of folic acid flowing through my system to stave off possible complications. I also went off birth control a few weeks before our big move. I had been on the pill for many, many years so I wanted to make sure it was out of my system before any true baby making began.

At this point we decided to do what normal couples do when they begin trying...we didn't tell anyone of our plans. It was fun to have a secret. I felt so devious going in to a book store and buying the book, "What to expect before you're expecting." We were in a new city with only a few friends. I am a horrible liar so I was glad to not see any close friends or family on a regular basis where I would have to knowingly keep a secret from them.

Okay I think this is a good stopping point for now. I have a tendency to ramble and the dog needs to be walked before the rain starts. I have to take a trip for work this weekend with a real early alarm so I am not sure if I will get to continue the story tomorrow or not. I will definitely try though!

Until next time good people! ~ Ms Infertile

Welcome to Ms Infertile

Hi and welcome to my space. I will get more in to my story about dealing with infertility as the days go on but first let's talk about how I got the bright idea to write about my journey.

I was driving home tonight and talking to my husband about starting my second round of clomid on Saturday. The first time was clearly not successful and I am having mixed emotions about this one. Obviously we want to be parents big time bad but let me tell you, I went bat sh*t crazy on my first round of the ovulation inducing drugs. My hormones were out of this world ridiculous and I don't have a clue as to how my husband dealt with me. It has just been in the past 2-3 days that I have returned to feeling anything like myself and now we get to hop on the roller coaster ride to hormone town again.

I have been trying to find blogs that discuss infertility and what it is like to deal with it. I have been wanting to find a blog of someone currently going through the process and I haven't exactly been successful. Maybe I haven't looked hard enough but I figured, if that is what I am looking for, I am sure there are others out there like me. So let's give this a shot.

I am no doctor. I leave the research to my dearly beloved. All I know is how I feel and what my body is going through. I figured I would create a space where I can document these experiences to reflect back on and maybe connect with others going through the same thing. Are you out there? If so, let me know. Let's get through this together! ~ Ms Infertile